(26-10-09)

It was Christmas day, 1995.
I woke up from my usual nap, but this time I noticed something strange and unfamiliar. There was a small bundle of black and white curled up in a ball on the lounge.
Smiling, my parents asked me what it was. In a soft voice, I replied “A Little Kitten”
After a few minutes of amazement and lots of patting Mum asked me what I wished to call my new Cat. Being youthful and quite unintelligent I said “A Little Black and White one like James” (James was a tuxedo cat, owned by my pop). Mum laughed and said that it was a little long-winded, and then she suggested a name that I had heard oh so many times on the television series “Absolutely Fabulous” and it just simply suited her and from then on... she was known as Patsy….
Every night she slept on my bed, huddled right up close to me. Every night without fail I would fall asleep to the sound of her purring. She kept me warm when it was cold, but on those hot summer nights, she would stretch right out and take up the whole bed, leaving me a tiny corner to huddle up in. But that didn’t bother me one bit because she was my best friend.
A few years passed, she broke her leg and had to have it pinned then some years later she got cancer on her ears and had them removed.
That is half the reason I did not regularly speak of her. People called her “earless freak” and other horrible names that just made me boil.
The years went on and my parents broke up… But still, every time I came out to my dads she greeted me with a meow only I received. She would come cantering across the front lawn the moment she saw me step out of the car and she would meow like crazy.
Of a night she would curl up on my chest (we were both much bigger so lying beside one another was not an option) and purr and dribble with contentness.
Then I bought Samson and as I came down to house, she would be waiting at his gate and when she saw me with his feed bucket she would run out and ‘help’ me feed him. Then together we would go down to the house…
Mid 2009, she began to drastically change. He fur became wiry and dull, she lost a lot of weight and the sparkle had gone from her eyes. But still she would walk across the front yard to greet me, her tail still high and her loud meowing still filling the air. She still slept close to me and I still drifted off to the sound of her soft purr.
Then in late October 2009 she went missing for a day, but because I had gone through a lot of hardships that month, my father and step mother decided not to get me worried. But when I called my dad to arrange what time he would pick me up that evening he told me four words that I knew one day I would hear but I did not expect them to come so soon. Patsy is very sick.
Worried, I raced over to Cooerwull and fell to her side.
She was breathing rapidly, the skinniest I had ever seen her and terribly dehydrated… But still she looked up at me and meowed, trying to get to her feet. I hushed her and she settled back down. After a closer inspection of her Elizabeth and I noticed two puncture marks and lots of bruises, so the suspicion rose that maybe she had been attacked by a dog but after her visit to the vet on the 26th of October that suspicion was ruled out.
Today has now gone down as one of the saddest days of my life… I was told that one of my best friends, one who I have never fought with, one who I have never bitched about, one who I have never been backstabbed by and one who has remained my loyal companion to this day is filled with cancer.
Her complete left side is swarming with it. She can hardly breathe and it is eating away at her spine. She is in an enormous amount of pain, but that won’t be the case for much longer. Tomorrow at 11am I’m going to end it. Her suffering will be over forever and finally she will be at peace.
She is the most amazing cat I have ever owned and I will never ever forget her.
She is strong and incredibly intelligent and without her my life will never be the same.
She has been with me through everything and I owe her the smiles of my lifetime.
When my brother found out about Patsy, he sent me this: “It’s sad about little Patsy, she has had a great life though, that any cat would be envious of, on the farm with all of the fun and adventures that go with it plus a mum who adores her (that's you!) And endless hours of commentary about her thoughts and actions all expressed in a funny high pitched voice (thats Did).” And he is right. She has had a great life, but I just can’t imagine mine without her.
Patsy, I love you <3 You are the most amazing feline and I am so thankfull that I was blessed with your friendship
xoxo

(27-10-09)

Yesterday? It was nothing compared to today... I thought I was going to vomit. I have never felt like that before... Saying goodbye to my beautiful girl... It broke my heart. I want to die. And It still hasnt hit me that she is gone... Even when I was carrying her little limp body, wrapped in a white sheet I still expected her to come running over to me meowing.
Taking her into that room in her cage, holding her for the last time, feeling her little heart thumping away in her sweet little chest, then having her taken away from me so suddenly. I know it was painless for her... But for me.. It was like someone had ripped apart my soul.. The pain is unbearable And I miss her so fucking much!
Patsy, Ill always love and remember you. You were the greatest cat that ever walked the earth and you will never be forgottern.

Rest In peace Patsy, My sweet little angel